My Mansion

Today I decided to spend the afternoon curled up on my bed with the lights turned down, making coffee, writing letters, and listening to John.
It's pouring outside-which nourishes my soul.
Though I miss Mom and my friends-I don't miss Norman yet. And the more I fall in love with this city...I'm wondering if I ever will.
It sounds so harsh when I say it like that...My Norman-which was my home for so long, should make me feel more melancholy than I do. But...I don't.
There's just so much-too much, that happened. And when I think about driving down Main or Robinson, my stomach aches. When I consider the "What if's" like, 'What if I had stayed and gone back to OU?', I feel bound up and suffocated.
God did a miraculous thing for me. I needed out of Norman. I needed out of lock-down. I needed out of fear.
Did I outgrow Norman? No.
Did Norman fall out of love with me?
I think so.
And that part makes me sad. The place that once saved me and brought me peace became a "square peg, round hole" situation.
My life was put on pause by chaos,
And sorrow
And small-to-most, but large-to-me tragedies...
And in the end-God had to intervene.

I was hanging on to a cardboard box, when God had prepared for me a mansion.
A mansion full of faith.
A mansion full of love.
A mansion full of friends.

And every worry I ever had about leaving Norman-God took care of.
It's evident in this rain.

All around me, there is peace.

Thank you, God.


Finally-peace.
In YOU alone, my hope is found.