Curiosity.

There is this boy here, that never talks. Sometimes I worry about him. Always I wonder about him.
I wish there was a way to sit next to him, and open him up. But it's incredibly difficult because in everything he does he proclaims to love and defend his solitude.
I'd believe him if I didn't used to be the same way.
I wonder what his story is; where he came from, what his passions are.
Everyday I can't hardly contain myself when I see him
Because it might just be the day we become friends!
Real friends.

I want to be there for him so badly;
To make him laugh
Or feel something real-anything.

One of my best friends used to tell me all the time how I have this incredible ability to bring
People to life.
I think I've lost that.
I don't have it anymore.
But it's something I'd love to get back.

I used to have it together-
And that's something that most people that know me now would never believe.
I used to be hilarious and cool and collected.

But now I'm just a basket case.

It's amazing how insecurity destructs you
And eats away at the spirit inside of you that way.
It suffocates life
And cripples the soul.

I used to be secure
And confident-

And it's been made clear to me in the past few days,
That my insecurities are something that is incredibly evident.

I thought I'd been hiding it well.

Anyway,
If I still had the ability to move people-
I'd move him.

He is brilliant
And I want to make him see it.